Monday, April 13, 2015

Too Much...



   I spent most of the day packing and preparing myself for my trip. The majority of the time was spent with my new Ipod, new as in from Christmas. I suppose I should have spent more time with it earlier on when I first got it, so then I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my day pouring music into it. There is still so much music that I haven’t gone through but I feel that 749 songs should keep me well occupied during my free and immobile moments on the travels. I’m pretty pleased with how much I have packed, I even have a tiny bit of room for those last minute extras. Best part is that on my way back, if all goes according to plan, I should have a little more room, due to a monthly cycle and using up packets of baby wipes to keep myself cleaned without being able to bathe. My only sadness is that I was unable to really pack my loveliest outfits since it wouldn’t be all too practical since many of those outfits don’t mix and match well with one another. I remind myself that I will probably not be going out to interact with society like the band will, and with that I probably won’t be seen so much with the band to feel the desire to look as excellent and flamboyant as them. I did however, treat myself with a simple small dress, since I have items that work with it and it is small and easy to transport. I would like to be able to wear something very lovely at least once, something feminine and delicate, just because. I would like to bring the necklace someone special got me one year, but I’m too scared of it breaking. If I can carry my back pack AND big purse on (which normally I should, but I don’t know Singapore airlines so well) I may carry it on with me. I cherish it, I cherish anything he gets me, anything he makes for me. I will feel very lovely with it and the dress.

   I have discovered that we will be departing for Europe from New York, which is neat, I’ve never been to New York nor have I departed abroad from anywhere but LA. I understand, just like my experience with LA, that departing doesn’t mean you’ve visited the area. It will still be neat to feel the air difference and the energy difference. It’s still a strange travel plan to me. I’m not excited about all the driving. I won’t be out of the country ‘til the 18th. We will be driving to NY, kind of annoying if you can understand what it’s like to fly abroad. But I suppose you do what you have to do, and they’ve done this for about 15 years and it’s worked for them. Sometimes it feels as though a lot of things I’ve done these past few years have almost been preparing me for this tour. Such as; learning to properly hand wash clothes, cope with messy and oily hair/skin, living a little more on the simpler/basic side of things…I am still indulging because I can and I want to, because it’s me and I love dressing nice, also because I feel I should  (and I don’t feel so comfortable as to wear just a giant shirt with my hair sticking up on all ends and no make-up, as I can around my special someone)..but it is odd. I’m still worried about not fitting in and feeling very lonely most of the trip. I have taken precautions to bring a new sketchbook and a kindle filled with books, so when I start to feel my heart dropping I can do something new to take my time off the loneliness.  I do hope I’ll be able to have the ability to get online to check my mail an okay amount of time, without racking up a huge phone bill on my phone. I’m sort of hoping that someone will have some kindness towards me, if worse comes to worse, and allow me to use a computer to check mail and other such things. I know someone will have a computer. I know. I’m still deciding on jackets to bring, my body is no longer acclimated to European weather, so I want so badly to bring my fantastic, gigantic, beast coats, but I can’t for the fuck of me remember what 50-60F felt like over there.

   I simply already can’t wait to be back! I really want to work on my book, my comic book, my body, and my other art works. I do feel though now, that having a little vacation wouldn’t hurt me. It would be nice if this could benefit me in some way for my art career, but I don’t know how. It would be neat to make new friends, but again I don’t know how. It would be really nice to get to say hi to some of my family members, but I don’t believe we will be in the right area to where my cousin is having her wedding. I think, around 3 hours out of the way. I mostly want to get on my comic, I want to fix some of the little problems that have been noted and start writing that next script; Which is something else I need to bring, my notebooks for my comics! Who knows what I might be able to think of while I’m traveling.


   I really do love music. Ridiculously. But I will admit, going through it to put stuff on my mp3 player kinda made me hate the fact that I love curtain artists so deeply. Every time I opened a folder with a favourite artists name on it, I was silently screaming at all the music that I had to shift through. It was like Fi-Fi-Fo-Fuck and I was engulfed by a horde of really awesome tiny bugs that I absolutely loved but I couldn’t keep my eye on where I was going so I didn’t step on them and then BAM, they’ve covered my entire body and I can’t breathe and I am dead. It’s okay though, I really liked it, it’s all my favourite songs..but, sweet apple archers, if my fav musicians aren’t damn prolific in their genius and their fans aren’t some crazy fuckers.  

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